Ask me About My Weekend

Funny you should ask…

I swear to you that what you are about to read is true.  As you read it, you may think I’m making this up, or embellishing the story.

Please believe me when I say that I am not.

Last Saturday, upon consultation with my wife and another family, we elected to go to Telus Spark for the day.  Telus Spark is the science centre here in Calgary.  It’s aimed at kids, and is a good place to go and spend a day exploring the wonders of science with The Kid.

When we arrived, we had a lot of stuff with us – two backpacks, jackets.  The family we went with have three kids, so with our Kid and theirs, that’s a lot of jackets and backpacks.  So, we decided to spend a loonie and grab a locker.

After closing the locker, I decided to put the locker’s key on my key ring for safekeeping.  This key ring had a number of other keys, all of which were fairly important.  In any event, I attached the key, and we went about learning science for the day.

After lunch, we found ourselves in the environmental sciences section.  Inside that area is a large scale model of a river system, complete with running water and sand to simulate erosion.  I was examining the exhibit somewhat when my wife asked me to join her on the other side and help her with something.

I turned, and tripped over the step which was on the floor beside me.  These steps were placed around the exhibit in places, and were there to help the kids step up and see what’s happening.  Not only did I trip over it, but I tripped over it completely and totally.  I went down in a heap, smashing my chin into the concrete floor.

The fall was so spectacular that, despite the fact that I was swearing (which meant I was, generally, okay), I sat on the step for a few minutes to gather my wits.  I then decided to grab a coffee, so I took myself upstairs to the cafeteria and bought myself one.

I took some ibuprofen, too.

My wife joined me a few minutes later and asked me for the key to the locker, as it was time for the kids to go outside and play in the outdoor playground for a bit.  I handed over the key ring, and indicated which key my wife would need to get into the locker.

My wife got the jackets.

I drank my coffee.

The kids played.

Eventually, it was time to go home.  In the car, I asked my wife where my keys were.  She gave me permission to look in her handbag.  I looked.

They weren’t there.

After some frantic discussion, we concluded that she had forgotten to detach them from the locker key.  She had been distracted and overwhelmed by the sheer amount of stuff she discovered in the locker.

So, that’s fine, we decided, I’ll just go down to Spark at opening the next morning and either get the keys back, or ask at the desk.

The next morning, I hopped in my car and began driving down.  As I was turning onto the road that leads to the building, the pipe leading to my car’s muffler broke.  Cleanly in half.  Of course, there was little I could do about it, so, swearing and cursing, I parked the car at Telus spark.

Afterwards, I drove to a store, bought some stuff that I thought I might need to do a quick fix to make my car legal, and drove it home, making a lot of noise in the process.

At home, while I was waiting for the exhaust system to cool down enough that I could be able to work with it, my wife was upstairs doing laundry.  She called me to the bottom of the stairs to talk to me.  I put my elbow on the wall to lean on it while we were talking.

My elbow went through the wall.

By now, I had had enough, so I looked up at the ceiling, and shouted, “IF YOU HAVE ANYTHING ELSE TO THROW AT ME THIS WEEKEND, NOW’S THE … TIME!”  I almost – but not quite, just almost – dropped an F-Bomb between “The” and “time”, but was able to catch and edit myself since The Kid was listening in the other room.

My wife chuckled and went back to the laundry.  I swore.

Deciding that keeping her distance from me this weekend was probably good for her safety, my wife went shopping.  I decided it was a good time to change the sheets on the bed.  Our master bedroom is laid out such that the door is at one end of the room.  I was over on the other side of the bed, so I pulled off the pillow cases and tossed them over towards the door to get them ready to go into the washing machine.

The pillow cases clipped the dresser which is right beside our door, knocking off the coffee cup that was on top of it and breaking it.

But at least I got my keys back.  They were at the locker, still attached to the key, dangling happily from the lock.

So, how was your weekend?